Fortune magazine has lately been focused on the challenges of the workplace. A recent post focused on a Fortune story about employees who claim to be afraid to speak their minds at work. See Are You Hiding (January 2025). Another noted what its author says is "employer bullying," a more direct action as compared to those who feel their employers are not doing enough to protect them from their coworkers.
This story is focused on the legal departments "at major companies," among general counsel staff, and the author "compare(s) (it) to domestic abuse." That is a significant allegation. The potential that an employer is beyond ambivalent or facilitative, and is actively engaged in abuse is serious. The fact is that such behavior is unquestionably possible. Bullying can occur. See Workplace Bullying (February 2020).
In fact, if you can look yourself in the mirror and say "I have never had a supervisor that was a bully," you are fortunate. Some estimate that as many as 33% of workers have experienced supervisor bullying. And there may be those who are unwilling to admit it.
The foundation study featured by Fortune was done by "a network of senior female lawyers and C-suite execs." They concluded that there was evidence "of shouting, throwing items, or sending aggressive emails and WhatsApp messages." These were the overt alleged misbehaviors.
I will forever recall my first days on the bench when I was approached by a long-serving staff member. They related an error, its impact on a dispute, and even had a proposed solution. I agreed with their proposed solution and turned to my work. They said, "Can we go ahead and get the yelling part over with?"
The ensuing discussion revealed that the staff was all accustomed to yelling, temper tantrums, and 4-year-old reactions. It took years of management and persistence to convince them we would solve problems and move forward without such histrionics. They had apparently lived in terror and undue stress for years.
The more frequent bullying noted in the Fortune article was labeled “subtle sabotage,” which the author calls "essentially microaggressions." These were instances or circumstances felt to be undermining, and the "The slipperiest form of bullying."
That is a bit more challenging. The whole realm of microagressions is subject to interpretation. It is possible for an someone to intentionally engage "verbal, behavioural, and environmental indignities." As likely, perhaps, it is possible to unintentionally do so, unconscious of the feelings or disposition of the listener or observer. I have seen both in my human resource and management history.
Yes, there are people who commit verbal minor verbal abuses against people. Yes, there are very sensitive people who may find offense in literally anything that is said. In the middle is a large population of people who neither commit such offenses nor regularly see them in others.
Nonetheless, in the Fortune explanation and interpretation, these microaggressive "subtle sabotages" included
- "Micromanagement . . . coercion, with bosses erratically calling their employees to check in and ensure they always feel like they’re being watched."
- "Isolation . . . with employees (feel) left out of 'boys club' WhatsApp groups or were kept out of specific email chains."
- "Gaslighting, with employers playing down their actions to their employees to convince them it wasn’t problematic."
- Threatening dismissal "unless (employees) obey their commands"
- "Setting an employee up to fail by calling them out in meetings."
- "Engaging in lying and deceit to other co-workers"
The complaint is that these behaviors "destabilize the target and can delay or preclude them from seeking help.” And there is some sense of uncertainty among employees about "whether to call behaviors bullying or not." This is not attributed to uncertainty by the authors, but is labeled a "pervasive effect of gaslighting still affecting them.”
The examples are all potentially troubling. However, is (1) the result of a malicious supervisor or a reaction by employees whose failure to perform has demonstrated a need for closer supervision and follow-up? Or, am I engaging (3) here and "downplaying?"
Is calling someone out in a meeting (5) a "set up to fail" or an opportunity to shine? I have been called out in a few meetings and been ridiculed for insufficient preparedness or reaction. I never liked it, but I definitely got better at preparing for contingencies.
Nonetheless, having considered that some of the microaggressions might be subject to discussion, there is no room in the workplace for (2), (3), (4), or (6). Some may question (3), in terms of whether it is, in fact, an intentional Gaslighting or an attempt to provide guidance and growth through discussion and introspection. It is possible for an employee's reaction to be honest and sincere, yet utterly off-base or unsupported.
And, the fact is that many managers have never had an inkling of training on the topic of management. I have known many excellent doctors, lawyers, and other professionals at the top of their profession yet utterly incapable of managing people's contributions and complications. I have known a few literal geniuses who could not balance their checkbook. There is intellect and there is skill set.
Note for all - people are complex, evolving, reactive, variable, and so much more. People are the greatest asset of any organization while also being the undeniably most fragile, inconsistent, and challenging. Management of people requires time, patience, skill, and practice. Anyone who claims it is easy is a savant or fool.
The Fortune-cited report noted instances of lawyers being bullied for giving "advice that was contrary to the goals of the company." This might be viewed as the authors portray - "gaslighting" - or maybe giving such advice is a challenge for any lawyer? I have heard it periodically from many different lawyers and have lived the consequences myself. There may or may not be relevance in this example.
And, there was an expressed feeling that certain types of employees were tasked with "housework” at the workplace "like taking notes in meetings, making tea and coffee, unwrapping sandwiches, and buying gifts or cards for colleagues’ birthdays or retirement parties." The essential, yet unstated, implication is that "white men" are less likely to be assigned such duties.
Fortunately, this last one is the easiest of all to address. Never assign such duties. When there is to be an office lunch, the manager should periodically and pointedly be the one to retrieve or organize refreshments, e.g. "It is my turn." The manager should be the first one to set up before and clean the room after. The leader should be an example, regardless of the gender, age, or other distinctions possible in the group. No one will be reluctant or disappointed to participate if the leader is personally engaged.
The report Fortune cites contends that the various actions described lead to psychological challenges among those who perceive themselves as bullied and those who perceive actions or words as bullying their coworkers. Some quoted in the article describe symptoms and signs that had personal and workplace impacts and effects.
The critical word in that last paragraph is "perceive." The fact is that regardless of how a manager or coworker intends behavior, words, or dynamics, the perception of the worker individually is the critical point. Each worker is "complex, evolving, reactive, variable, and so much more," see above. The best path forward is constant recollection of that followed by careful attempts to view circumstances, words, and actions from the employee's perspective.
That said, every employee feels minimized at times. Every job involves tasks that are distasteful, diminishing, and unwanted. Through my career path of about 25 jobs, I have experienced this personally. I have worked with for some horribly abusive, incompetent, inconsiderate, inconsistent, and habitual bullies. I have experienced each of the complaints quoted above. No, I am not (3)ing you.
Any employee should be wary of those leaders, managers, and supervisors. Every employee has to face the facts of dealing with such personalities, their insecurities, fears, and other causes of bullying behavior. We are all encouraged to be diplomatic. We must each remember our role and our personal best interest. Some will choose to stand and fight, others will strive to maneuver and survive, and some will simply move on to a greener pasture across some hyperbolic fence.
That said, there are some critical points.
- You are not alone.
- The way miscreants treat you is usually on them, not on you.
- Some discriminate and target, and some are just jerks.
- Most bullies are damaged beyond our capacity to fix.
- Being with/around a bully is exhausting and demoralizing.
- There are laws against discrimination, if you choose to fight.
- There are greener pastures, if you choose to flee.
- If you choose to freeze, it is likely the bullying will continue and may increase.
Regardless of your chosen path, there are tools at your disposal. There are resources you can engage. I believe the best primary tool is a mentor. Within your company, industry, or community, there are people who have experienced what you are experiencing. They will understand where you are, and will graciously listen. They will likely even dispense advice. See Did You Ever Get Old (January 2025), regarding advice.
In many companies, largely dependent on size, there are Human Resource professionals. That is not new. These positions have existed for many decades, and that is because human interaction is challenging. The dynamics require care, planning, and management. You can converse with these people if you choose the "fight" course mentioned above. Certainly, beware of the potential for missed opportunities, but still consider these managers.
Social media is an interesting outlet. There is some potential for being judged on what you post, and there is the chance of increased bullying or worse. But, there is also community in the realization from other's posts that you are not alone. Thus, merely reading the thoughts of others may help you.
Don't want to comment on someone's post? Try messaging them instead. Connect, commiserate, unload, and refresh through common experiences. Here's an old-school thought, after connecting through media, pick up the phone and have a real conversation with someone who understands where and how you are. Personal connection is powerful.
Critically, do not believe yourself isolated or pioneering. Others have sailed this course and have thrived on the other side. Remember that no outcome will be easy, but the fact is that nothing in life is. That is a hard stop. Easy is a hallucination, a dream, and a setup for disappointment. Work, life, and family, all have the potential for difficulty and challenge. That is not new. It is not you, or at least is not likely all you.
This is the advice I would give my students. I am sure there is more advice out there, and perhaps if there are comments on this post I will do a follow-up one day featuring them.
