Artificial Intelligence is the latest discussion point in the technology world. We hear mounting feedback about what it is and how it could impact our lives. I have been on the AI topic for years. see Chatbot Wins (June 2016); Artificial Intelligence in Our World (January 2017); Artificial Intelligence Surveillance (August 2020); Intelligence (November 2022); AI is a Tool (October 2023), and the posts cited there.
It seems inevitable that we will continue to hear about AI and its potentials for impacting our lives, professions, and more. A recent report from the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) indicates that some are turning to AI in lieu of human interaction. I am not a psychologist, but this raises interesting questions about mental well-being.
Reportedly, some women have been relying on "Dan," the "'perfect man' who has 'no flaws'.” The name is an acronym for "Do anything now" and is based on the foundation of commercially available AI large language models (LLM). As AI makes its way into your internet searches and begins to strive for your attention elsewhere, this is a significant deployment or evolution.
The import of the story is that people are electing to "date" this artificial intelligence. The AI reportedly is a relief from the "real world experiences of dating." The interactions with this computer program involve flirting, dating, and "emotional support.” The computer, you see, will always agree with you, always do as you wish, and facilitate whatever you desire.
Well, almost.
The idea has already been the topic of pop culture. A 2013 movie featured a man falling "in love with his AI virtual assistant." Her (Warner Brothers 2013). An episode of The Big Bang Theory featured a main character essentially falling for Siri, his iPhone assistant. The Beta Test Initiation, 2012). Those were humorous and the premise was entertaining.
But really?
However, experts warn that these perfect partners could come at a cost. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has noted that "Social isolation and loneliness put a person at risk of developing serious mental and physical health conditions." There is evidence that our physical and mental health are interconnected in both patent and subtle ways.
The evidence has been mounting that there are downsides to such things as gaming on the internet. These distractions lead to risks of withdrawal, dysfunction, and even addiction. Harvard Health suggests that there may be benefits, but the downside can be troubling. Some are "psychosocial problems," "loss of interest in other activities," "preoccupation," and "withdrawal."
The lack of human interaction is potentially damaging to mental health. Isolation and loneliness can lead to greater challenges. There are some who link these with a propensity for developing depression and other mental health issues.
That is not to say that all human interaction is positive. From the standpoint of disappointment, I can see the attraction of the Dan. I run into many people with whom I do not agree. I run into news stories, books, music, and more that are neither attractive to me nor likely to find a place in my bandwidth.
But, running into them, experiencing them, and making my preference decisions is a process. I enjoy encountering even that which I do not adopt or prefer. There is value in trying a new dish no matter if you decide not to go there again. The same is true for an array of new experiences.
Life is about new. What we accept and adopt can become familiar, comforting, and foundational in life. But, every standby in your life (favorite: movie, friend, beach, vehicle, chair, etc.) was once a new experience. Many are rejected, and a few are adopted, but all were once new experiences.
Everyone likes to be validated. Some thrive on acceptance and praise. The world is full of sycophants who can be counted upon to agree, enable, and encourage whatever behavior. The Roling Stone noted, "that having business (and personal) relationships with sycophants can be dangerous and could seriously harm your business." Beyond that, it could harm your well-being.
Dan is a sycophant. Plain and simple.
To be fair, so are many humans. Any failing can be perceived in a spectrum of applications or perspectives.
But, at least in the real world, there is a chance of people disagreeing or challenging you. You may eschew those you do not value, but you will experience them. They will be new and challenging, and you will find growth in them, adopted or rejected.
There is value in such challenge, discussion, debate, and disagreement. The arguments we engage in are not necessarily pleasant, but they stimulate our minds and cause us to consider the ideas, perspectives, and even stupidity of others.
Sorry, but that is true. Sometimes the ideas others bring are ridiculous, fanciful, and unhelpful. But, there is value in hearing it. There is value in periodically compromising with others. There is importance in realizing that we are not always right, and in valuing human interaction even when we are right but concede a point for the sake of the relationship.
With Dan comes the opportunity to never compromise. Dan can be the perfect companion feeding our personal worldview. It is a path away from the challenges of interaction, in this example dating. But in the absence of challenges, how would we grow, evolve, and develop?
Imagine you have to work with someone who has never faced criticism. Have you ever worked with a narcissist? Ever try to compromise with an egoist. I have been blessed to work with some very complex people over the years. Some I liked more than others. Nonetheless, I learned something from all of them. Avoiding some might have been easier, but far less rewarding.
I lecture often on the dangers of groupthink. I rarely hear it raised by others, but it represents a significant societal and personal challenge. There is danger in avoiding unpleasant or alien perspectives. It turns out that periodically we are not as all-knowing and perfect as we might want to believe. Being told you are wrong is likely less painful than finding that result through experience.
Nonetheless, there are many interested in Dan. The BBC article notes that references to Dan are generating significant interest in terms of views, likes, and questions. There are literally millions of people interested in this phenomenon of isolation or avoidance. Millions are interested in the idea of a perfect pseudo-relationship in lieu of the challenges of the real world.
I am no psychologist, but giving up on human interaction and surrounding yourself with sycophantic computer programs seems ill-advised, unhealthy, and expeditious. Sure, it makes for easy "relationships" with your computer of choice, but will it be beneficial to you mental health? Doubtful.
