This morning, October 9, 2018, I was scheduled to fly to San Diego for the Comp Laude 2018. Unfortunately, Michael has come to call in Florida, and for several reasons that means canceling my trip.
Comp Laude is a unique "gala" experience, focused on recognizing those focused on making workers' compensation better. Workers' compensation is a community in which we work daily and one which is oft derided. This community has its share of heroes and villains. There are too many who take advantage of the employees and employers. I lament those whose motivations are not pure and join the Laude in celebrating those who do so much to make this community better.
I remain very proud of those who were nominated for recognition at the Comp Laude. The finalists were named in July, noted in 2018 Comp Laude Finalists Named (July 2018). I am grateful that we, as a community, have the opportunity to make such nominations. I am proud that David DePaolo envisioned and created a platform for us to recognize our peers. I recognize through this process that there are a great many heroes striving for a better community. I won't be there Wednesday night to applaud them. But, I am nonetheless proud of the winners, the finalists, and the nominees.
I was also proud this year to be chosen to participate in The People's Choice, a "Ted talk" style program where some of the most compelling and interesting community members will share their 6-minute inspirations. David DePaolo envisioned and created this, but never witnessed it. The first People's Choice was in 2016, months after David's passing. I was so honored this year to be chosen to present in this unique and special format. So, this morning, I share what I "would have said," more or less, had Michael not derailed the trip. I say "more or less," because what follows is essentially an unedited stream of consciousness, written out here for the first time from the outline I planned to use tomorrow. I intended to speak from the heart and not from a script.
Comp Laude 2018 - People's Choice Award
Aren’t we all just so perfect, to ourselves, from our perspective? If only everyone could be like "me." We live our lives too often judging others. Sometimes because we must, they work for us, they are proposed for our team, and their department or company is critical to ours. But, we must judge carefully, judge performance and not person. Remember our judgment is driven by our perceptions, and unfortunately our inherent bias.
Inherent bias is tough. We all have it, and many deny it. Everyone I know that will even admit to having bias, thinks they have it under control. We are all seemingly confident. But, we cannot be complacent. As we form opinions about others, we must remember biases, feelings, and experiences. Sometimes we must judge, but are we too quick? Are we fair?
In our lives, emotions can be poison. Who gets the plum assignments, the best opportunities, the recognitions, and awards? Humans naturally experience emotions, some less healthy than others: envy, anger, hate, and more. Though we perceive someone's grass greener, our perspective may mislead us about their reality.
So, we are surrounded by fruitless and exhausting emotions: jealousy, anger, envy, vengeance, and more. How much of our soul, our energy, and our lives will we invest in these fruitless feelings? And who do they benefit? Do we derive joy or accomplishment from our envy? Does anger move our lives forward and enrich our relationships? Simply stated "No."
I would suggest that these negative emotions are not healthy for us. They bring pain and stress. They poison our hearts and pollute our minds. They do not build community." We need to communicate openly, drop our facades, and shed the veils we wear. We must recognize our negative emotions, and be slower to judge others. None of us will be perfect in that. But we must strive.
We are all too often convinced of our perspective, our adequacy, and our success. We hear, but we do not listen. We see but we do not observe. We too often assume, apply our biases, and judge quickly.
We each decide what self to show the world. We have each spent a lifetime building defenses, forming our scars, and protecting ourselves. From pain comes self-defense. We show and we hide, we decide. It is self-preservation, and it’s understandable. Our choices protect us, but may also damage us. Having been wounded, we avoid the chance of that again. We internalize, and we shield, and we hide. But at what cost?
Is she a snob, or just shy? Maybe he could contribute ideas, but he has been shot down too many times. Maybe she is a bully, or maybe just insecure. Maybe he is ungrateful or insensitive, or perhaps just forgetful?
These masks we each wear, our process for figuring out other people, all that is built over time. There is a geologic term I find helpful: “accretion.” It is the opposite of erosion. Over time, that process causes the accumulation of emotional detritus, just as the process of depositing dirt created the land formation at the end of the Mississippi; the Louisiana "boot" is a prime example of accretion. We all have history, experiences, successes, and failures. It has all accumulated over time to make us who we are. And it affects us: how we feel and act. It affects how others perceive us, and how we perceive them.
We might break through someone’s veils and masks, but rarely with a brute-force attack. You parry and they shield. We are more likely to make inroads by recognizing that time and accretion led to our current state, and therefore erosion is our best hope of tearing it down, in ourselves and in others.
Imagine if we all took small daily steps towards appreciating the positive aspects of the people in our community. What if we made more effort to ignore and get over their shortcomings? That is not to say that we have to remain connected to people. Some we may have to just avoid - they may be toxic for us individually. But for those that are not necessarily flotsam and jetsam, not necessarily toxic, can we find a way to slowly erode the veils? Can we slowly know them, rather than judge them?
If we try, we might find that our perceptions are not nearly as infallible as we would like to think.
My six minutes would have been something like that. I would have enjoyed presenting it. I would have been honored to share the stage with some phenomenal members of the workers' compensation community. But, in the end, sometimes life hands you developments you don't want. Among those are hurricanes, fires, earthquakes and so much more. As they assemble in San Diego, all of them, I am thankful for them. I am pleased that excellence and commitment will be honored and recognized this week. I am personally committed to striving to look for the good and the value in this community and in people. I hope you will join me.
