"A, B, C, D, E, F, G."

Back in the day, remember SARS-CoV-2? We went home for Spring Break 2020 and before it was over the Universities had all told us "STAY AWAY! We did the shift, the pivot, the switch. I went to video for teaching. We went to video for trials. We shifted mediation to telephonic. It was a tumultuous time. I later wrote Little Black Boxes (December 2021) riffing on the old Mellencamp tune Little Pink Houses. I shared some of my perceptions of videos.

There was ample introspection about the pandemic, about remote work. Many found the virtual world challenging and even untenable. Many found it preferable to the real world. The inevitable progression was from the two absolutes to a variety of hybrid combinations, with various cases and proceedings custom-assembled by the parties to meet various preferences and demands. 

I taught through the pandemic, but in all honesty, I was back in person, in the classroom, in the fall of 2020. I believe I am more effective in person than on Zoom. I like the interaction and the feedback. Can I get visual feedback on the video? Maybe. Is your camera on? We saw a lot of students decline to turn on their cameras. That degraded the experience. 

I saw some decline in behavior and preparation. I watched beards grow that spring of 2020. I saw interest and engagement decline. I watched students struggle, and withdraw, and there were indicia of anxiety and worse. The enforced remote environment was not the best. It is fair to say that "one size fits all" rarely is.

That Little Black Boxes post included some predictions for the post-pandemic world. I was skeptical of the predictions of never going anywhere live again. I was right. We are back in person very often now. The mask-wearing has largely worn. The virus has progressed from pandemic to endemic. 

We tried to go back to in-person mediation repeatedly. The lawyers all wanted to remain remote. We accommodated what you wanted. We took the mediation process full-remote. We did this for you and your preferences. But now I hear stories of attorneys appearing for mediation and refusing to turn on their cameras. The mediators are saying that this impedes the process and frustrates communication.

Worse, though I am hoping they are wrong, I am hearing stories in which mediators and judges believe that lawyers are operating vehicles and simultaneously attending Zoom proceedings. That is simply not acceptable. For everyone's safety (you and those around you), please do not try to multitask with a Zoom appearance and driving. It takes your attention from the road. It takes your attention from your client. It is dangerous and lamentable. 

Do not appear on Zoom while driving. Frankly, I prefer you not do so while walking or running (yes, each has occurred). As important, Dress for Zoom like you would to come to a hearing office. Wear your tie, jacket, and yes your pants. For goodness sake, if you don't wear the pants, turn off your video when you step away to grab that document you forgot. And, on the way back PUT ON YOUR PANTS!

Get out of the bed to appear on Zoom. Bring your file with you for the proceeding on Zoom. Remain conscious of the appearance of your surroundings when on Zoom. Alert others in your premises that you are on Zoom and that the camera can easily catch them also (be aware of what is behind you). 

We want your camera on. Everyone? No, if that claimant or adjuster wants to remain in the background, we can likely live with that. That is up to the judge or mediator. But the lawyers should each and all be professional. That means dressed, coiffed, and prepared. Meet the client before. Discuss the claims and defenses before. Outline the issues before. And turn on the camera. 

Why turn on the camera? Well, as Gayle notes in her mis-ordered alphabet song,

And I was tryin' to be nice

But nothing's getting through, so let me spell it out

Or as Leah Kate might suggest instead, "I made a list so I'll never forget all the things I hate about" little black boxes on the screen. 

1. The mediator is working diligently, on screen, to engage in an interactive and productive conversation. Your "black box" is disrespectful to her/him.
2. The claimant has one case, this case, and is at the mediation to discuss and share. Your "black box" is disrespectful to them.
3. The employer may have many cases, or perhaps just this one. She/he is there to discuss and share. Your "black box" is disrespectful to them.
4. Your opening comment of "I'm _______, I'm your lawyer" does not make that client feel valued. It disrespects the client, the process, and the claims.
5. Your excuse that you are "not well," or "not dressed" or "not shaven," or have "no makeup" is not doubted. But your lack of preparedness is disrespectful to all.
6. Your request that a judge or mediator wait while you finish another call or Zoom indicates that you are either underprepared or overcommitted. Either is a demonstration of lack of respect (absent true emergency, if the hospital calls, your kid calls, etc. take the call, we'll all wait - been there, done that).
7. You beginning the Zoom hearing with "Judge if we could have a minute, I think we can work this out" is disrespectful. If a short conversation could mean no need for a hearing or mediation, please have one. But do it before.
8. Your tardiness (one reported instance was an hour delay, parked on Zoom, while various attempts proceeded to find one of the lawyers. Wasted time and disrespectful. 
9. Disrespectful, unprofessional, and inappropriate. In some instances worse. 

I would perhaps fix the poor alphabet lady's (Gayle's) lyrics, and instead sing "A, B, C, D, E, F, G."

G.

1. "Gee, that was an organized and efficient mediation/hearing."
2. "Gee, I was impressed with attorney ____________"
3. "Gee, that was productive."
4. "Gee, that was professional."
5. "Gee, that was exceptional."
6. "Gee, what a pleasure to work with."
7. "Gee, what a great argument."

We do not need anyone hurt. Park the car. We do not need anyone disrespected. Meet the client before. Discuss before. Treat the case with the dignity it deserves. Turn on the camera, be present for this hearing, this mediation, this task instead of working on three other things at once. 

You think you are multi-tasking, but you are not. You have four simultaneous projects and you are sequentially ignoring each one momentarily to focus on another. You are not in the moment. You are not solving the present challenge. And you are being disrespectful (to the mediator or judge, your client, the other attorney(s), and the other party(ies)). 

Some suggest that the rules should be amended to require cameras turned on by all attorneys. It is disappointing that we may need a rule that says "be a professional." Perhaps we do? "A, B, C, D, E, F, G."

Gee, that is a real shame on and for all of us.