I was honored in October 2024 to present with an exemplary panel of peers at the National Disability and Worker’s Compensation Conference in Las Vegas Nevada. It was an intriguing experience in a couple of perspectives and was most rewarding overall.
One intriguing point in the presentation was in the planning. There was no meeting of the five participants (four panelists and a moderator): Stuart Colburn, Hon. Tim Conner, Hon. Stephanie Kinney, and Hon. Robert Rassp.
In order to facilitate our “60 tips and 60 minutes,” the four panelists were asked to submit 20 tips each. Our expert moderator, Stuart Colburn, collated and organized them, placing a reduced 15 tips each into a PowerPoint.
The presentation was therefore not contemporaneous in the truest sense. However, we each had no idea which of our tips made the final cut. The other presenters likely have better memories than I, but I frankly did not remember any of the tips I had submitted weeks earlier in a fit of last-minute compliance. Therefore, there was a certain contemporaneous air to the panel.
It kept the session both interesting and engaging. There is a real value in not rehearsing, scripting, or structuring. As we hit our individual tips, and heard each other, there was genuine interjection and interaction among the panel. It was real, engaging, and well-received.
As we chatted afterward, Mr. Colburn noted a second intriguing observation. Each of the four speakers had largely adopted a personal theme for their tips. Amazingly, despite our professional association and occupation similarities, we were significantly distinct. It would not have been more so if Mr. Colburn had assigned us individual themes for our individual tips at the outset.
There was a focus on law, trial practice, appellate practice, professionalism, and self-protection. Without ever contemplating it as such, that last one was my theme. We have to be focused on our personal self-protection. Make no mistake, I’m not advocating narcissism or anything close to it. I'm not talking about Brittany's sologomy (wonder where she took herself for the honeymoon?). It’s not about a disorder. it is about caring for yourself.
As I noted during the presentation, a phenomenal piece of advice is provided at the beginning of every airline flight. The flight crew will remind you to "put your mask on first before you assist others." If you fail to do so, you will likely find yourself utterly incapable of assisting those around you. In failing to preserve and protect yourself, you are cheating yourself and everyone who needs you.
These thoughts came back to me reading an article on the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) regarding Canadian tourism. A hotel owner who suffered loss from wildfire expressed her coping mechanism:
“There is a lot to do, but I try and focus on what I have to do today, and leave tomorrow to tomorrow,”
Certainly, focusing on the things that you can accomplish, and striving to push away unproductive worry regarding those things that you cannot change is advisable. Focus on the today. That is great advice for us all. Keep an eye on the ball today, because worrying over tomorrow's pitches will just cause angst.
I think it is as important to focus on your own health similarly. Do not push aside your preferred release (walking, yoga, meditation, reading, golf, etc.) to focus elsewhere. Find the time, make the time, to focus on yourself and whatever release you cherish or just need. That time is yours and is no different than putting on that mask.
Relieving stress can come down to you. Others are going to be obsequious from time to time. Disagreement will happen. The world will not follow your preferred course consistently. People will cross you and let you down. Things will not always work out as planned or hoped. As they noted in a recent Disney movie:
Let it go, let it goCan't hold it back anymoreLet it go, let it goTurn away and slam the doorI don't care what they're going to sayLet the storm rage onThe cold never bothered me anywayFrozen (Disney 2013)
You can let the world's dissonance and discord eat you up, or you can accept what you cannot change. Know that disagreement can be healthy as can be honest debate. But, when the debate ends and decisions are made (no matter how dumb they are), you have to "let it go." Make your contribution, Voice your opinion. Then "let it go." It sometimes helps to remember the advice of a comedian who said "You can't fix stupid." Similarly, allowing stupid to bring you down or to dominate your thoughts is simply not productive or healthy.
In this vein, I also recently read a LinkedIn post by an attorney in South Florida. I thought his advice on dealing with the challenges of litigation were meritorious and worthy of repeating. He noted that with maturity comes an ability to "let it go." He noted he has learned not to let the challenges (human or otherwise) get him down. He said:
"I care less about everything. Not in a jerk way, but in a 'why should I care' way. You're obnoxious? Don't care. You're trying to get a rise out of me? That's adorable. You're trying to play me? I have to care for that to work. You're trying to pull one over on me? Very cute. You think 2 + 2 is 5? Sounds great. I couldn't care less."
He noted that remaining above such frays is liberating and empowering. This is not a suggestion of not caring about your responsibilities and commitments. Contribute, engage, and participate. Follow your best judgment and provide your opinion. Then allow the ultimate decision to proceed and "let it go." Even the loftiest CEO in the most gilded perch finds her/himself compelled in directions that are undesired or unwanted. "Let it go."
Take care of you. Don't sweat the small stuff. Remember that it is mostly all small stuff. Illegitimi non-carborundum.