There is no such hurricane Litela. That title is a satirical reference - read on.
In the 1970s, comedian Gilda Radner played a variety of characters on the late-night Saturday skit show. It was a time of irreverence and satire. Perhaps her best-known caricature was Emily Litela. This editorialist was on the satirical news and prognosticated at length about her emotions, feelings, and analysis.
The joke was that she was always mistaken. Inevitably her ranting would be interrupted by another cast member who would correct some fatal foundational flaw in her diatribe. I cannot provide numerical justification, but my memory is that Jane Curtin and Chevy Chase were often this moderating or correcting force.
When she understood the correction, she would look innocently into the camera and say simply "Never mind." That was hilarious and fun. But, "never mind" is not always in the offing.
This came to me recently as Milton inevitably crossed the gulf and dominated water cooler conversations. There was much talk of the potential for death and destruction. Wouldn’t it be nice, I was asked, if Milton would instead simply stop off the coast, reconsider his position, and merely utter “never mind.” That is fanciful and irrational. But one can hope.
This stemmed a deeper conversation or two here in Paradise. We have repeatedly been the site of the storms. In my memory, there have been Erin, Opal, Ivan, Dennis, and Sally. We have had angst and worry over a great many other storms that impacted our neighbors, such as Michael, Katrina, and Zada. Hurricanes are neither new nor exceedingly well understood. They are feared, but not necessarily understood.
The first European colonial settlement in North America was in Pensacola. It is historically accepted that Don Tristan Deluna‘s expedition here was rapidly accosted by a hurricane or tropical storm sufficient to decimate it. The survivors are said to have persisted for months thereafter, but the settlement was soon enough abandoned. The effect of that storm was decimation and destruction. The point is that these things are not novel or new.
So, our state history teaches that storms will come here. The recent history of storms mentioned above and others like Francis, Jean, Michael, Andrew, Ian, Irma, Helene, Milton, etc. etc. illustrates that we will see these threats come to fruition on our premises. It is part and parcel of being a Floridian. We persist and we recover. That is the inspirational part. We recover every time.
But, that recovery is dependent on being here to recover. You see, the old pirate adage "dead men tell no tales" has a corollary, "dead do not rebuild and recover." That is a harsh message. I do not make light of death, and those who have lost loved ones in these storms are persistently in my thoughts. But the point is valid. To rebuild and recover, you must first survive.
The news before Helene featured a sheriff advising people to write their names on their bodies. A similar request was made by a mayor before Milton's landfall. They (and others) had cautioned people against staying in various locales. They had stressed safety and encouraged good judgment. They strove to enforce evacuation orders and to protect life and limb. Despite their pleas, some remained and hunkered down.
It is easy to criticize these people. Some stayed to stream their experience on social media and profit from their "clicks." Some stayed intending to protect their property from a force of nature that is simply irresistible. Some stayed because they felt they lacked resources or options. Some who won't evacuate are merely stubborn. But, nonetheless, some did not heed warnings. That frustrates the officials.
That must demoralize first responders when they are later unable to ride to the rescue of such holders-on during a storm. I have heard 911 recordings of the stranded and threatened as they plea for help amidst a storm that turned out worse than they predicted. Their cries for help are painful and hurtful. They are in dire need, but there is no safe way in that mid-storm moment to render aid. That is a tough situation.
We all hope that each storm will be Hurricane Litela. We hope each is a false alarm. We pray for the "never mind." We are often blessed when a potential killer turns out to be not quite so bad. But, as often, we are cursed with a Michael that looks like a category 2 or 3, and yet makes landfall as a killer 4 or 5. The fact is that science has come a long way, and predictions are persistently improving. But, we cannot have complete faith in the science. Storms are unpredictable events by their very nature.
The point of all of this is that you cannot count on anything except every storm presents risk. The science is imperfect, but it is better than your gut in every instance. When the science says evacuate or shelter, that is sound advice. You will be needed for the recovery that is our Floridian nature and destiny.
We will return each time and we will be better for it. We will individually and collectively mourn loss, rebuild, and recover. That is, those of us that survive will. When the season ends next month, there will be a respite in which we can all reflect. There should be focus on how we react when we are ordered to evacuate or shelter. We should think about the fact that the storms cannot and will not all be Hurricane Litela; some may fade or strengthen unexpectedly, but none will simply stop with a "never mind."
Your job is to respect nature and the threats it poses. You must listen to authorities and maximize your chance to be both a survivor and part of the recovery. You must strive not to put first responders at risk of life and limb to compensate for your refusal to listen to the officials and the predictions. Yes, those predictions may be wrong. Yes, you may get lucky. But, the better bet is to follow instructions and survive the storm.
Whose job is it to see to your safety? It is yours. Who benefits from your focus and compliance? Well, primarily you do, but also your family that does not have to care for you and your neighbors you can help in the recovery. This is not to mention those who then do not have to ride to your rescue.
No, the punch line to this post is not "never mind." The punch line is "pay attention," follow instructions, and be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.